Relationships for Spiritual Growth

Observing oneself instead of blaming another.

When two people come together there is initially the exciting “honeymoon” period.  They’re getting to know each other. However, after a few months or even mere weeks, the gloss diminishes.  This is when the deeper aspects of each begin to surface. But how many realise that seeing their relationships for spiritual growth can be a very dynamic way to develop.

For instance we bring to every relationship, romantic or otherwise, all the unresolved baggage from our own past.

The more intimate the relationship, the more of our fears, anger or insecurities from the past will surface.  These emotional limitations rise up from our own deeper layers. Sadly many potentially great relationships flounder at this stage.  It’s as if each person stands either side of a great emotional mess.  Far from being aware of their own pain & limitation, they’re pointing the accusatory finger at the other.

Imagine, however, if people used their growing relationships as a mirror to observe their own painful issues. This is where the relationship becomes a powerful means for spiritual growth.

Basically, no one can “make us” feel a certain way whether it’s fearful, insecure, jealous or angry. Their behaviour will only be resonating/echoing against our own pre-existing insecurities.

A very wise man once said “meeting someone with a big ego is actually a blessing in disguise because they’ll draw to the surface all your own unresolved baggage that may have lain unknown and buried within you for many years”.  The challenge then is to honestly own this baggage and take steps to heal and resolve it.

So relationships can provide an invaluable opportunity to engage our self-observation and see what’s been triggered within us.

Growing beyond your limitations.

Not only is this very challenging but it also requires a generous degree of self-honesty. In this way, where a valued relationship is involved, we’ll take the trouble to work on and rectify these our own issues.  We may seek help from professional sources instead of just grumbling about the situation to our friends. If both partners are open and willing to look at their old issues, then the relationship will definitely change.  It will  blossom into something very deep, lasting and full of joy. This is why I’ve titled this article “relationships for spiritual growth”. The pain of potentially losing this person will act as a trigger for us to look deeply within ourselves.  Then there is the possibility to grow way beyond the limitations of who we think we are!