Bereavement and Grief

Understanding Grief: Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

The loss of a loved partner, child, friend or even a beloved animal can leave us feeling bereft, angry and even depressed. We embark on a future without our loved one while surrounded by numerous reminders of their absence. Our everyday lifestyle and actions are seriously affected.

Grieving is a PROCESS that we need to go through – it doesn’t just pass away with time nor can it be rationalised away by the intellect.

Allowing Emotions to Surface

Initially, feelings of denial and disbelief surface, then perhaps anger: anger at life for taking a loved one away; even anger at the loved one for leaving us alone. It is crucial that we don’t judge any of these emotions and that we allow them full expression in order to gain eventual relief.

We live in a society where injunctions such as; “be strong”, “be brave”, are hard wired into our emotional circuitry.

If we have had no role models on how to deal with overwhelming emotions, the only way we know how to deal with loss and grief is to push our feelings down and struggle on with our lives.

I sometimes work with people who suffer from severe depression as a result of losing a loved one for whom they haven’t properly grieved. Their sadness, having never found expression, may manifest years later as depression or illness.

Other Forms of Loss That Can Trigger Grief

Grief can manifest in numerous other forms in our lives, causing depression, anger or psychosomatic illness. We can experience intense sadness at losing a home, a career, our health or money. In all instances, grief needs to be recognised and given emotional space to find healing catharsis. I use many skills to support people through this vulnerable period until they are ready to reinvest their energy into new pursuits.